Jennifer White (wife to Seth and mother to Alison)

Who am I to be called a daughter of Christ? I am no one special. In fact, there is nothing that particularly stands out in my life.

I have sinned and been forgiven many times. Even with all of this though, God still calls me his own. There have been many times in my life when I have turned my back on my Father, and yet He still calls me His own. I have even tried to run and hide from him, but he was still there with me the whole time. I will not go into much detail about my past except to say that I have made many mistakes on this road of life. The bible says, “Narrow is the path that leads to Heaven, but wide is the path that leads to destruction.” Therefore, if that is true, why am I always trying to widen the road in which I'm on?

I have been rebellious my entire life. “Rebel Without A Cause”… that’s me. My parents tried to raise me in a Christian home, but they had Christianity sorely mistaken for dictatorship. Growing up I wasn’t allowed to date, so of course I dated as many people as I could in secret. I had sexual relationships with most of them, and had a hunger to be wild. This destructive craving continued into a relationship which produced my oldest daughter, Haley. By the time that her dad and I married, I had cheated on him five or six times, and eventually developed a deep bitterness towards him. It was almost like a movie or something where the blood thirsty vampire had to give up her love for the taste of blood for someone, and ended up hating him for it in the end. Well, in my case that bitterness lingered on until I finally just snapped.  I ended up in a mental health facility after attempting to take my own life. Needless to say, I was lost.

Jesus is a warrior. So am I. My name is Neo. I follow Jesus into the Matrix everyday. We tear down strongholds. We seek to free slaves. Through my Lord, I have learned to be aggressive, passionate and courageous. It wasn't always so.

I was raised in a culture that glorifies violence, not as a means to protect freedom, but rather, as an iron hand that exists to fill the already bulging pockets of our capitalist dictators. This is a culture that treats women as sexual playthings to be used and tossed aside. This is a culture that treats men like little boys, because men, real men, are dangerous. They are wild and they want to be free.

I got married, had two beautiful daughters, Sarah and Rachel. I served a God that reflected my culture. A cold, overbearing tyrant with an unrealistic list of rules and regulations for me to obey.

I sometimes view my life as an episode of Seinfeld. Some days, I play the part of Kramer, other days it’s George, and yet other times it’s some cartoon-like character with quirky traits and personality. Sometimes I can be annoying, other times funny, and sometimes serious. I have to be honest. Bad things often happen to me. If those things happened on a TV sitcom or if I watched them happen to someone else, I would find them hysterical. However, when afflictions are actually happening to me, they seem tragic and bigger than life.

In reality, I am playing a major part in God’s epic movie of good versus evil. I’ve been drafted into a battle of cosmic significance. I am one of Jesus’ valiant soldiers. The stakes are extremely high, but the pay off far exceeds my wildest dreams. For the first time in my life, I know I have what it takes to be a man. What will eternity with Christ hold for me? Imagine getting everything you always wanted but multiplied by ten thousand.